(I'm not actually high)

Spilt in blood, raveled in stone,
so shall the wars of past shall be,
and as we travel ever distant in time,
a stark complexion striketh me.

In Ajack...Ajax? In Ajax, it is written,
Odysseus shall...ride across the...roads?
and those...guys with the swords,
something about, like, fighting?

Oh man.

I totally forgot the rest of the poem because I'm so high.

Haha, man, that's awful. I totally did a thing.

Guys, I did a thing?

Hahahahahaha. A thing.

The poem is about, like, war, and death, and shit.
It's a downer anyways. You don't wanna hear it.
And I'm totally too high to recite it.
It's like all serious anyways. I totally can't be serious now
all high like this, you know?

God I am high. Like, shit, one of those leaves you see
sometimes? like, when you're outside and the wind is
going WOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHH? Like that. I am high like that.

Hey. Hey guy. Can I have your tie? Your tie looks awesome.
Can I have your tie? I want your tie.

Nah, it's cool, I don't need your tie./Dude, seriously? You're giving me your tie? You are totally awesome dude.

Anyways the poem ends with like, kittens. Well, it didn't, but it does now.
I feel too good to end a poem with death. Kittens! Yeah!

Guys, thanks for listening. You guys are my best friends.

The best. Thiiiiiiiiisssss much.

God, I'm high.

I wish I drank so I could justify this.

Once on a boat not too far from here,
I saw a most peculiar sight.
A crew of penguins, instead of men
handling all type of shipwright!

I called the captain from his cabin,
and then asked him "Are you on drugs?
avians are not meant for running ships
do you not know that they are thugs?"

The captain looked at me, and smiled,
"A penguin is no problem for me.
Now people, those are the real thieves!
They wouldn't even work for free!

I fired them all, to prove my point,
and settled on a more honest beast.
I saw penguins fishing over yonder,
and thought hell yeah I'll take them.

So now I sit in leisure now,
like Captain Ahab and Moby Dick!
They fish for me all day without question,
and I reap all the benefit!

So now, instead of dealing with brats,
I'm drinking beer all day and night.
It was the best choice of my life,
so shut up, or I'll knock our your lights."

The last I saw of that captain,
was his stupid boat on the horizon.
I smiled, for there was a mutiny;
you see, penguins are assholes.