Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Inquisition

*Two men are sitting. One of them is very calm, collected, and looks the other person firmly in the eye. The other looks a bit confused and bewildered, though not excited, occasionally looking from side to side. For simplicity's sake, let's call the first James and the second Greg.*

James: Do you know why you're here?

Greg: Why?

James: Why.

Greg: No. No I don't.

James: You, sir, are accused of being a terrorist.

Greg: What? What do you mean?

James: Someone contacted us, and told us that you are a terrorist.

Greg: Us? Who's us?

James: I'm asking the questions here, sir.

Greg: What, so you won't tell me who you are, who accused me, what evidence do you have-do you even have any evidence?

James: The accusation is enough evidence.

Greg: That's ridiculous! That's not nearly enough evidence!

James: I knew you'd say that.

Greg: That's because it's ridiculous!

James: No, it's because we took the time to transcribe this conversation beforehand.

Greg: ...What?

James: Yeah.

*James pulls out a piece of paper*

James: So far it's followed the script perfectly.

*Greg pulls the piece of paper out of the other man's hand, and examines*

Greg: What-my name isn't Greg!

James: Those names were merely put for simplicity, and to make the script easier to read.

Greg: But then why didn't you put-

James: The script was made before we knew your name.

Greg: That's ridiculous! This whole concept is ridiculous! Why would you even make a script like this! Why would you give it to me?

James: Because the script told me to.

*Greg reads the script, trying to find what he is suppose to say next, and then directly avoids trying to say it*

Greg: I can prove this script is defiable! I'm saying something different from what the script is saying right now.

*James reaches over, takes the script, and pulls apart a couple of stuck pages*

James: Oh, the pages were stuck.

*Greg stares in disbelief*

James: Anyways, we need to get back to the topic at hand. That is, you being a terrorist.

Greg: But I'm not a terrorist.

James: Oh, I read the script. You definitely are.

Greg: How does the script say that I'm a terrorist?

James: I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. The script doesn't tell me to.

Greg: So this conversation will continue to follow it's drug addled course as it has gone so far, until somehow I end up admitting a terrorist.

James: I would rather wish you do not refer to the script as "drug addled", but basically, yes.

Greg: And what happens after that?

James: I forget. You go quietly or something? It doesn't matter.

Greg: This is insane. How would you even produce something like this?

James: I don't question the rules, I just follow them.

Greg: *sarcastically* Ah yes, this makes perfect sense. Of course a piece of paper knows the future, and can predict my every action. It must mean I am a terrorist. Look at me, I'm only trying to get a job, placing calls every few days, after I was laid off. Why wouldn't I be a terrorist. Clearly I must be a terrorist. It's the only logical explanation.

James: Aha! So you admit to being a terrorist!

Greg: What? That was sarcasm.

*Greg grabs at the script*

Greg: Hell, this script even calls it sarcasm!

James: Oh, the script is a fake.

Greg: ...What?

James: Yeah. I just manipulated you to say all those things, to perfectly follow the script, and control your actions so that you eventually admit that you are a terrorist.

Greg: ...No.

James: Sure! Of course, I guess you can't understand it, given your puny intellect compared to my keen analytical mind.

Greg: You're still following the script right now.

James: That just shows how much of a genius I am, that I can plan gloating in the very same step that I used to manipulate you!

Greg: You've yet to prove any real authority, or evidence, or anything! The entire case is against you.

James: You clearly underestimate my brilliance.

*Greg looks through the script, trying to figure out what the hell is happening. As he finishes reading it, a moment of comprehension hits him*

James: Ah, finally willing to go quietly, huh?

Greg: Right, sure. But could you look at this line, first?

James: Why?

Greg: It's of special interest, and I think it might make your case a bit weaker.

*James leans over to look. Greg suddenly decks James across the face, gets up, and starts walking out*

James: What? That wasn't...on the script.

Greg: Oh, there was a page stuck together.