Kresh

There's an interesting story behind when the Heroes of the Five-Point leaf first hired their fighter. Now, there's a certain art to figuring out who you should hire. It's not always apparent who's going to save your hide when the going gets rough.

Ended up between a choice of this human, favored swords...they all favor swords, really, and this big dragonborn fellow with a big old hammer. Now, a layman thinks, "My, a dragon man, he's sure to be a brute." but once you've been in this business for a while you realize that the humans who do make it tend to have earned it.

The human, he badmouths the dragonborn, says "They just don't think things through. Running headfirst into battle, they're fools, no strategy. See, I got sense in my head. It's all about controlling the fight. You can't control a fight with a hammer. A hammer can't deflect a sword.They get so swept up in the idea of glory that they forget to protect themselves." He puts up a pitted, old marked shield. "Every single blow on this thing, was a blow that didn't hit me. You've got to be stupid to think you're so skilled you could have avoided all these without any help."

I have to admit, I respect Kresh for his calmness in this. It's not often you insult a dragonborn like this and get away with it, but I suppose Kresh wasn't like most dragonborns. But he was clever. He sizes up this human, who has the gall to criticize him when he's right there. He looks at the shield a moment. Having got a moment to think, he asks, "So you're the sane one, huh?"

"What do you think? I'm not dead yet."

The dragonborn then says, "That's a shame. It doesn't pay to be sane as an adventurer. " the dragonborn gestures to the giant hammer. "Know why I use this? It's because it says 'I'm crazy. I'm the one who is going to bash up to your front line, and smash you to bits if you let me close. If you ignore me, you're going to hurt. Bad. You don't want to ignore me.' A shield says, 'I want to stay safe. You aren't going to hurt me because I got this big shield. Nothing is going to get through, and I'm going to make sure of it. Good luck hitting me.' Now tell me, who do you want to protect you? The crazy dragon, who makes it clear who's the person they should be paying attention to, or the sane human who makes it clear who's not going to get hit?"

Guess he's right. It really doesn't pay to be sane when you're an adventurer.

Compensation Paradox

If guns are compensation for masculinity, why are they given feminine names?

I think in Limericks

There once was a man, name was Gerie,
he lived, as it were, in a motley menagerie
Many said "He's not right,
his sight, quite a fright!"
But I thought he looked good in lingerie.

Re: Future Interpretation

Wow. I'm a whiny bitch.

>In response to this post.

Recursive limerick

There once was a fellow named Ted,
who had a thought form in his head.
A limerick was formed,
here's how it's performed,
There once was a fellow named Ted,
who had a thought form in his head.
A limerick was formed,
here's how it's performed,
There once was a fellow named Ted,
who had a thought form in his head.
A limerick was formed,
here's how it's performed,

(I'm not actually high)

Spilt in blood, raveled in stone,
so shall the wars of past shall be,
and as we travel ever distant in time,
a stark complexion striketh me.

In Ajack...Ajax? In Ajax, it is written,
Odysseus shall...ride across the...roads?
and those...guys with the swords,
something about, like, fighting?

Oh man.

I totally forgot the rest of the poem because I'm so high.

Haha, man, that's awful. I totally did a thing.

Guys, I did a thing?

Hahahahahaha. A thing.

The poem is about, like, war, and death, and shit.
It's a downer anyways. You don't wanna hear it.
And I'm totally too high to recite it.
It's like all serious anyways. I totally can't be serious now
all high like this, you know?

God I am high. Like, shit, one of those leaves you see
sometimes? like, when you're outside and the wind is
going WOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHH? Like that. I am high like that.

Hey. Hey guy. Can I have your tie? Your tie looks awesome.
Can I have your tie? I want your tie.

Nah, it's cool, I don't need your tie./Dude, seriously? You're giving me your tie? You are totally awesome dude.

Anyways the poem ends with like, kittens. Well, it didn't, but it does now.
I feel too good to end a poem with death. Kittens! Yeah!

Guys, thanks for listening. You guys are my best friends.

The best. Thiiiiiiiiisssss much.

God, I'm high.

I wish I drank so I could justify this.

Once on a boat not too far from here,
I saw a most peculiar sight.
A crew of penguins, instead of men
handling all type of shipwright!

I called the captain from his cabin,
and then asked him "Are you on drugs?
avians are not meant for running ships
do you not know that they are thugs?"

The captain looked at me, and smiled,
"A penguin is no problem for me.
Now people, those are the real thieves!
They wouldn't even work for free!

I fired them all, to prove my point,
and settled on a more honest beast.
I saw penguins fishing over yonder,
and thought hell yeah I'll take them.

So now I sit in leisure now,
like Captain Ahab and Moby Dick!
They fish for me all day without question,
and I reap all the benefit!

So now, instead of dealing with brats,
I'm drinking beer all day and night.
It was the best choice of my life,
so shut up, or I'll knock our your lights."

The last I saw of that captain,
was his stupid boat on the horizon.
I smiled, for there was a mutiny;
you see, penguins are assholes.